Category Archives: Satire

It Goes Without Saying: Those in Power are without Melanin

“the worst
thing that ever happened
to
the world
was
the white man coming across gun powder.
–– the end of the world | the beginning of white supremacy”

― Nayyirah Waheed, Salt

It would take a million blogs just to get through the millions of millionaires (36,000,000) and the billionaires (2,700) who are fleshy-faced and melanin-challenged aliens. Amazing, though, the lefties and the righties go on and on with stories and analyses about “people of color” and those “Hispanics” and “Africans” and “Middle Eastern” that make up 99 percent of the fodder used for journalism and “journalism” (in quote marks), and for all the if-it-bleeds-it-leads stories broadcast on nightly news and plastered in headlines, wherever there still are newspapers.

Black Americans, and black men in particular, are overrepresented as perpetrators of crime in U.S. news media. This is especially true when looking at the incidence of violent crime. For example, one study of late-night news outlets in New York City in 2014 found that the media reported on murder, theft, and assault cases in which black people were suspects at a rate that far outpaced their actual arrest rates for these crimes. The news media also vilifies black people by presenting black crime suspects as more threatening than their white counterparts. It does this in several ways, such as by showing the mug shots of black suspects more frequently than those of white suspects; depicting black suspects in police custody more often; and paying greater attention to cases where the victim is a stranger.

[or. . . .]

NBC reported recently that at a meeting last year with the Congressional Black Caucus a member told President Donald Trump that his planned welfare cuts would hurt her constituents, “not all of whom were black”. Mr Trump is reported to have replied: “Really? Then what are they?” If the president had not realized that most welfare recipients are white, he is not alone. And the media are partly to blame, for black Americans are overwhelmingly over-represented in media portrayals of poverty.

Do we dare talk about the power of the ever-shrinking humanity of the white race, the power of this race to bring death and destruction to almost every single system in the universe — from space, to the heavens; from food, to travel; from education, to judiciaries; from diplomacy, to Hollywood; from literature, to media; from engineering, to the sciences; from the land, air sea, rivers?

So, this evangelical insanity runs the country, really, no matter how hard a radical, socialist, Marxist, communitarian, communist democracy fighter like me can huff and huff hoping to blow the thing down in hopes of there might be a crack in the myopic and colonized minds of “Americans.”

The rallygoers, he said, told him that Trump’s era “is spiritually driven.” When I asked whether he meant by this that Trump’s supporters believe God’s hand is on Trump, this moment and at the election—that Donald Trump is God’s man, in effect—he told me, “Yes—a number of people said they believe there is no other way to explain his victories. Starting with the election and continuing with the conclusion of the Mueller report. Many said God has chosen him and is protecting him.”

Ralph Reed and Trump

You know, I am on the Oregon Coast, where timber companies are clear cutting and their side-job is spraying vats and vats worth of 2-4-D, atrazine and a mixture of other Agent Orange chemicals, such as glysophate. These are programs run by white people, and the heads of those bureaucracies and chemical and timber companies, they too are melanin-challenged aliens. Decision after decision, life and death, determined hands down by what amounts to the whopping 99.99 percent of the people categorized as the melanin-challenged aliens.

America and Transnational Business paradigm are the Round-Up Ready Death Squads, all mostly sowed within the melanin-challenged’s DNA, and then turning them into reapers by and for the white race. From fracking to coal trains; from the bottled arsenic water sold at Whole Foods, to the no-stick cancer pans of mother and father’s kitchens; from war tools of all those white companies and countries*, to self-driving vehicles; from facial recognition tools, to Oxi epidemic; from the psychology of torture, to the torture of PK12 education. Need we list more? All promulgated and carried out by the legions of melanin-challenged aliens.

*Note, of the top 10 arms exporters — Italy, Netherlands, Israel, UK, Spain, USA, Germany, France, Russia — China ranks 5, and we have to wonder why China is in the arms business?

Top ten arms exporting countries

United States is the world’s biggest exporter of weapon systems.

Each step into their madness we have to take, well, they are designed by the mad men, the propagandists, the movers and shakers who are born charlatans and thieves and natural born killers, again, armies of melanin-challenged people sooting up the world, and in many cases, teaching/dictating, with the carrot and stick, melanin-rich despots and graduates of the Milton Friedman School of Economic Torture.

This is the way of the white man, Jew, Christian, what have you! Aliens.

And both varieties of alien, eat each other, Jew or Christian:

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Israeli Sephardic leader Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in his weekly Saturday night sermon said that non-Jews exist to serve Jews.

“Goyim were born only to serve us. Without that, they have no place in the world; only to serve the People of Israel,” he said during a public discussion of what kind of work non-Jews are allowed to perform on Shabbat.

“Why are gentiles needed? They will work, they will plow, they will reap. We will sit like an effendi and eat,” he said to some laughter.

Yosef, the spiritual leader of the Shas Party and the former chief Sephardi rabbi of Israel, also said that the lives of non-Jews are protected in order to prevent financial loss to Jews.

or

Propaganda works best when those who are being manipulated are confident they are acting on their own free will.

If you tell a lie long enough, it becomes the truth.

The essence of propaganda consists in winning people over to an idea so sincerely, so vitally, that in the end they succumb to it utterly and can never escape from it.

— Joseph Goebbels, November 26th, 1937

This is it, the epitome of the white clans and klans and kibbutz’s. As she said, the white race is a cancer on humanity (Susan Sontag). Dare we say more?

Think hard about the power of those white people in charge of Facebook, Google, Raytheon, X-Y-Z drug/energy/law/medical/ education/chemical/agriculture/lobbying/IT/AI/banking/ insurance/media/entertainment/architectural/STEM  enterprise in the world. Think of the graft, the lies, the bilking, the externalities of pain-pollution-penury-politicking-policing foisted onto us, the majority, and onto the world, a majority of which is made up of P.O.C.’s — people of color.

You’ve got these Holly-Dirt pigs and media midgets and all those DAs and DHS honchos (and you name the bureaucracy or agency, you’ll see the melanin-challenged alien brigades), and it’s mostly always whites running the show, and the victims are their own race, and P.O.C.’s.

Below, just a few faces that are destroying the world as we know it — but again, a million mug shots of the heads and administrators of those Fortune 1000 Companies and those denizens capturing the Stock Exchange still would not do justice to the thesis — “the white race is a cancer upon the world,” as Susan Sontag stated….

Yet, the conversation by Trumpies is the white race is threatened; or by all the social commentators, who are mostly white, who say  P.O.C.’s are in need of levying, arresting, managing, policing, financing, tolling, taxing, fining, controlling, flailing, shorting, jailing, trolling, doctoring, deploying, corralling, and, well, you get the picture. The Great White Man’s Burden!

Every single moment on the WWW we have to hear this dichotomy of the whites and the white leaders and white controllers having some say about or suggestions for series of actions against P.O.C.

Again, whites do not fear subjugating their own race to the same oppression and culling they do against P.O.C.’s. The sucker born every minute and a mark made every nanosecond is the white man’s world, spread like a virus around and around the world!

Again, a nutshell and a photo are worth a thousand allusions and descriptive words:

The bodies of Salvadoran migrant Oscar Alberto Martínez Ramírez and his nearly 2-year-old daughter Valeria lie on the bank of the Rio Grande in Matamoros, Mexico, Monday, June 24, 2019, after they drowned trying to cross the river to Brownsville, Texas. (AP Photo/Julia Le Duc)

[or . . . .]

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These Nonprofits and Businesses Are Making Millions From Detaining Immigrant Children — 
Dozens of nonprofit shelter groups and several for-profit companies have made enormous amounts of money from detaining and transporting migrant kids

A Sludge review of contract data as of June 30 has found that the federal government has spent nearly $3.8 billion on ongoing grants and on contracts initiated since Donald Trump became president related to “unaccompanied alien children” (UACs), or undocumented immigrant kids who crossed into the U.S. alone or were separated from adults—family or otherwise—after entering the country.

The majority of the grants for UACs came from the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), which houses the Office of Refugee Resettlement, the division that manages the UAC program. Much of the grant money went to nonprofit shelter organizations, while some contracts from HHS and from the DHS’s Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) paid for-profit businesses for transportation, health care, tent construction, and other services.

There are a million moments in the media . . . or those captured in this melanin alien Zeitgeist or in countless research formulas  demonstrating the above sort of lack of humanity and fulfilling corruption of the white race upon the human race and all other races of animals and plants.

Here, You Tube employee calling the cops on a Black man who this idiot white guy deemed a Bad Guy Wanting to Sneak into Condos. This white guy’s son is bawling asking old white daddy to stop it.

So this is July 4th 2019

Posted by Wesly Michel on Thursday, July 4, 2019

The Master Race, The Chosen People, The Pure of Bloods? This continuing embarrassing collective of CEOs or people with too much money just never ends, never ends. Melanin deficient aliens!

White supremacy has taught him that all people of color are threats irrespective of their behavior. Capitalism has taught him that, at all costs, his property can and must be protected. Patriarchy has taught him that his masculinity has to be proved by the willingness to conquer fear through aggression; that it would be unmanly to ask questions before taking action. Mass media then brings us the news of this in a newspeak manner that sounds almost jocular and celebratory, as though no tragedy has happened, as though the sacrifice of a young life was necessary to uphold property values and white patriarchal honor. Viewers are encouraged feel sympathy for the white male home owner who made a mistake. The fact that this mistake led to the violent death of an innocent young man does not register; the narrative is worded in a manner that encourages viewers to identify with the one who made the mistake by doing what we are led to feel we might all do to “protect our property at all costs from any sense of perceived threat. ” This is what the worship of death looks like.”

― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions

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President Trump speaks to NATO Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg and British Foreign Minister Boris Johnson as Britain's Prime Minister Theresa May passes during a working dinner meeting at the NATO headquarters in Brussels on May 25, 2017.

EPA Administrator Andrew Wheeler testifies during a House Appropriations Subcommittee hearing on Capitol Hill, April 2, 2019, in Washington, D.C.

Joe Biden squints into an apparent source of light while speaking into a microphone

Sen. Bernie Sanders is introduced by Sen. Elizabeth Warren during a rally at the Orpheum Theatre in Boston on March 31, 2017.

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Image result for epstein and trump

The United States of Fascism Hysteria

So it’s been an exciting few weeks for Antifa and the rest of the neoliberal Resistance. OK, they haven’t yet managed to overthrow the Putin-Nazi occupation government (hereinafter “POG”), but they’ve definitely got “the Fash” on the run. “Fascism” hysteria is spreading like wildfire. Liberal Twitter mobs are out for blood. At this point, it’s only a matter of time until the sleeping giant of normality awakens and purges America of the fascist filth that have Putin-Nazified this once great nation.

Antifa has been at the vanguard of the fight, smashing the Fash on both East and West Coasts. In Portland, where a gang of neo-fascist anti-masturbationists known as the “Proud Boys” had assembled for a self-promotional street fight they were billing as the “Battle of Portland 2,” Antifa militants positively identified and preventatively beat the living snot out of a journalist named Andy Ngo. To prevent him from snitching to the fascist cops (who are allegedly working hand in hand with POG), they self-defensively robbed him, sprayed him with silly string, and pelted him with vegan milkshakes.

Now, before you get all up in arms about Antifa assaulting and robbing journalists, you need to know a couple of things. First, according to Antifa spokespersons, and those bloodthirsty liberal Twitter mobs, Andy Ngo is a “fascist adjacent,” and possibly even a card carrying fascist. Antifa representative Alexander Reid Ross claims that Ngo is personally responsible for putting people’s names on a Nazi “kill-list” (or at least that Ngo’s writing has been published by Quillette, which published an article by someone else that some fascists read and copied people’s names from), so, basically, he deserves to die.

Also, assaulting and robbing Ngo was technically “preemptive self-defense” (you know, the same as when we invaded Iraq to defend ourselves from those WMDs). Despite their helmets and body armor, and the fact that Ngo is a doughy little gay guy, his presence among them on a public street was making Antifa feel “unsafe.” So, they had no choice but to beat him senseless, steal his camera, and vegan milkshake him. As Antifa expert Mark Bray explains, when you’re Antifa, “fighting back is always self-defense, even if [you] strike the first blow.” (This logic only applies to anti-fascists, of course, like Antifa and the U.S. military, and not to, you know, gangs of thugs, or the perpetrators of wars of aggression.)

Antifa’s self-defensive mugging of a journalist apparently scared the crap out of POG, because one week later, back in Washington, D.C., President Hitler called in the tanks, and the Luftwaffe, and announced that he was going to stage a reenactment of a Nuremberg Rally right in front of the Lincoln Memorial. The liberal intelligentsia went apeshit. This was really it this time! Putin had given Trump the green-light to declare martial law and pronounce himself Führer. The long-awaited Putin-Nazi Apocalypse was finally about to begin!

Unfortunately, Trump’s Fourth of July Jamboree turned out to be a rather tame affair. He even almost made it through his speech without making an ass of himself. This was extremely disappointing for liberals, who were hoping he would go full-Hitler, paint “death’s heads” on the turrets of the Bradleys and a Swastika on the tail of Air Force One, and order ICE to start rounding up the Jews.

The weekend wasn’t a total let-down, however. The Proud Boys (who are clearly gluttons for punishment), staged another self-promotional event, this one billed as “Defend Free Speech.” A few hundred people turned up to listen to speeches by a handful of alt-right clowns desperately trying to reignite their careers. They were outnumbered 2 to 1 by Antifa, Black Lives Matter, assorted drag queens, and an indigenous, two-spirited transperson of color, who reportedly “performed a spoken word” on the meaning of the term “latinx.”

The D.C. police (who are even more fascist than the Portland police who stood by and watched as Antifa beat up and robbed a journalist) fascistically prevented Antifa militants from storming into the Alt-right rally and beating the snot out of everyone in sight. So, the anti-fascists had no choice but to preemptively attack a newspaper dispenser, which was presumably making them feel “unsafe,” or disseminating POG propaganda, or something. One of them tried to burn a flag, but he couldn’t figure out how to operate his matches. Assorted other hilarious acts of revolutionary direct action followed. Apparently, Antifa’s strategy was to smash the Fash by amusing them to death.

Meanwhile, militant Resistance actions against the POG “concentration camps” continue. New York City, San Francisco, and other liberal metropolitan areas have almost completely emptied out as liberals flock to the southern border to liberate the surviving prisoners. Conditions in the camps are now beyond inhuman. According to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, migrants are being forced to drink out of toilets, and otherwise subjected to “systematic cruelty,” (so you can understand why liberals are physically putting their bodies on the line to bring an end to this horrifying sadism, and not just sitting around on the Internet shrieking about “concentration camps” as they travel to their summer holiday rentals on Martha’s Vineyard, or the Hamptons, or wherever).

No, these Putin-Nazi “concentration camps” are nothing at all like the “detention facilities” the Obama administration operated, even though they look exactly the same. Sure, thousands of migrant children were separated from their parents, in cages, and there were tens of thousands of incidents of rape, sexual abuse, beatings, and so on, but, otherwise, these Obama “detention facilities” were more like great big 2-star hotels, or like student dorms at a state university, so there was no need for liberals to get all worked up and start comparing them to places like Dachau and Buchenwald.

Plus, here’s a picture of dead people! Look at this picture! These people are dead! So just shut up about Obama already! Enough with history, and critical thinking, and the practical aspects of immigration policy! It’s time to abolish all national borders, issue everyone a U.S. passport, and transcend the whole concept of national sovereignty … or at least to provide the capitalist ruling classes with an endless supply of cheap, undocumented, extremely compliant unskilled labor. Those Bel Air lawns aren’t going to mow themselves!

Jesus, I can’t believe I just wrote that. Concentration camps and dead people are nothing to joke about. It’s OK, however, to cynically use them to whip people up into a paroxysm of manufactured mass fascism hysteria. Not that the neoliberal ruling classes and the corporate media would ever do that. No, they would never repeatedly attempt to evoke our hatred of the actual Nazis (and their actual concentration camps … which people were dragged out of their homes, loaded onto trains, and shipped away to, and which you could not voluntarily depart) in order to short circuit our critical thinking, or otherwise emotionally manipulate us into supporting their War on Populism.

No, the Putin-Nazi occupation government is not just manufactured mass hysteria concocted by the neoliberal ruling classes. Donald Trump is really a Nazi. There’s a portrait of Hitler in the Oval Office. Putin really controls America. Putin, and his cabal of Russian Nazis. They’re everywhere. They own the banks. They control the media. They control elections. They are the “International Invisible Government.” (Is any of this sounding vaguely familiar?) They are devising the Final Solution to the Immigrant Problem right this minute. They are doing this at Mar-a-Lago, where Trump has had a big “Black Sun” etched into the marble floor.

So, if you’re serious about your anti-fascism, now’s the time to load up on silly string, ski goggles, masks, hard knuckle gloves, and whatever you make those milkshakes with. POG might be on the run at the moment, but there’s an election season coming up, so we need to be prepared for anything. The important thing is to remain hysterical, and to be ready to respond to whatever emotional stimuli the ruling classes wave in our faces. The fate of democracy hangs in the balance.

Oh, and watch out for those fascist newspaper dispensers!

Do I look like a Tall Gray from Honduras?

The year was 1947, a decisive turning point in our National Security State’s history.  The Hot War was over:  Nazis shot down, Japanese bombed out.  Democracy had been saved, but there was a problem:  a massive War Machine still smoking, smoldering like a Lucky Strike left over in the ashtray of our World War effort.  And, things were getting colder — colder than a Siberian gulag. Put another way:  out of the Manhattan Project, an alien child was born.

The first child of the Manhattan Project was, of course, the Atomic Bomb.  The project itself cost about $2 billion in 1940s money, and employed around 100,000 people — the vast majority being Americans.  Yet the average American, including most of those working on the “gadget,” had no idea what their Government was up to, except that it was for the War effort.  Patriots don’t ask too many questions, like other citizens who do not wish to be jailed or ostracized.  Asking too many questions:  Just don’t do it, OK?

Cliches to live by.  Nevertheless, it seems that the success of the Manhattan Project — and especially the successful cloaking of this genocidal Government program —  led our Leaders of the late 1940s into fashioning a permanently secretive security apparatus, codified into Law by the National Security Act of 1947.  The United States Federal Government has been manifestly militaristic ever since.

1947, incidentally, is also the year of the now-famous Roswell event, in which either a military weather balloon, or an alien spacecraft, crash-landed near the New Mexico town of Roswell.  Prior to 1947, UFOs, or Unidentified Flying Objects (a term coined by the military) didn’t exist in the common cultural vernacular.  At that time, Soviet Russians were the aliens that Americans were being told to be afraid of, not extraterrestrials.  Today, of course, this fear has apparently morphed into an “Army of Hondurans” marching through Mexico to menace our sacred Southern Border, but that’s another story…

In the meantime, between 1947 and Now, somehow, some way, the UFO phenomenon has become a threatening thread woven into the fabric of contemporary American folklore.  As our Federal Government has lifted off further — founding-farther-land further — from its rhetorically democratic matrix, or bio-political seed-pod, the popular belief in UFOs has both broadened and deepened — incredibly!  Fairly recently, in fact, it has been revealed that the Pentagon maintained a top-secret program specifically obsessed with extraterrestrials. This clandestine DoD desk, known as the Advanced Aviation Threat Identification Program, operated from 2007 to 2012, gobbling up over $20 million along the way.  One is tempted to reference Unidentified Flying Tax Dollars in this context…

The United States Air Force, another child of 1947 (like its siblings CIA and NSA), also looked into the UFO phenomenon.  Project Blue Book, the Air Force entity studying the UFO story, investigated over 12,000 reported UFO sightings between 1947 and 1969, before Blue Book was terminated in 1970.  Bye, bye, Blue Book, because we never saw you leave.  Come to think of it:  we never even saw you slip, slide, or slither into our Government.  You were just there — and not there — all that time!

In our own moment, today, with that Manhattanite alien project Donald Trump ring-leading the American political flying saucer circus: it sure seems like “UFO” equally signifies “Unidentified Federal Object,” our “One Nation under Drone” Government, which is entirely alien to most Americans.  Frankly, since at least 1947, we’ve all been not exactly privy to this “Unidentified Federal Object,” with its labyrinthine lairs and tentacles beyond tentacles:  its reach and over-reach. The Truth may be “out There,” but, in our Nation’s Capital, all’s swaddled in secrecy: so the National Security Act of 1947 decreed. If American troll farmers posed as Russian troll farmers to “hack” the 2016 quadrennial election, for example, who would be the wiser? Robert Mueller?  Anyone who paid attention to the hijacked Honduran election of November 2017 would tend to believe that anything was possible where “democratic” elections are concerned.  As in Honduras the United States, it appears that we have a Government rather more above than of the People; in other words, or letters:  that Thing’s a UFO!  Shelter in place, citizens!

In provisional conclusion, as an American — or Tall Gray from Honduras, perhaps? — who has never seen a UFO, I simply say:  “E.T. me, Washington, D.C.!”

The Ongoing Restructuring of the Greater Middle East

So, according to the corporate media, and to President Literally Hitler, himself, while America was sleeping last Friday morning, the U.S. Air Force was just minutes away from bombing the bejesus out of some desolate outposts somewhere in the Iranian desert and launching another catastrophic military blunder in the Middle East.

At approximately 0400 Zulu time, President Hitler and his top advisors (among them, John “the Walrus of Death” Bolton) were gathered in the Pentagon’s War Room, flight paths arcing across the big board. The hotline to Vladimir Putin’s office in St. Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow had been activated. The full force of the U.S. military was about to be brought to bear upon a package of top-level Iranian targets with no strategic value whatsoever. Apparently, “planes were in the air!” It was all so terribly, terribly exciting.

This awesome demonstration of American resolve was meant to be punishment for the vicious slaughter of an expensive U.S. military drone, which was peacefully invading Iranian airspace, and not at all attempting to provoke the Iranians into blowing it out of the sky with a missile so the U.S. military could “retaliate.” The military-industrial complex would never dream of doing anything like that, not even to further the destabilization and restructuring of the Greater Middle East that they’ve been systematically carrying out the since the collapse of the former Soviet Union, which … more on that in just a moment.

Nor did the incursion into Iranian airspace of this non-provacative military drone have anything whatsoever to do with the crippling economic sanctions the U.S.A. has imposed on Iran in order to completely destroy its economy and foment a coup against its leaders, who are allegedly conspiring with Hezbollah and al Qaeda to develop an arsenal of nuclear weapons to launch at Israel and Saudi Arabia, and other peaceful Middle Eastern democracies, and who were possibly responsible for the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, and, who knows, maybe even the Holocaust!

Iran, remember, is a “terrorist nation,” which is not playing ball with the “international community,” which is why NATO has it completely surrounded and is flying hundred million dollar military drones up and down its coastline. Also, they don’t like homosexuals (i.e., the Iranians, not NATO, of course), and they burn big American flags on television, and are generally Hitlerian in every other way. On top of which, they’re allies of Russia, the fount of all democracy-hating, fascist evil in the world today.

Which, I don’t know, makes it kind of weird that President Hitler would want to attack them, and destroy their economy with those crippling sanctions. I mean, why would Putin allow him to do that? What was the point of brainwashing all those African Americans with those Facebook ads if his Manchurian President Hitler Puppet was just going to let The Walrus of Death and his deep state cronies bomb his allies? Honestly, the more I watch of this movie, the less the plot makes sense to me … but, hey, I’m just a political satirist, and not a professional Putin-Naziologist, or a geopolitical analyst, or whatever.

If I were (i.e., a geopolitical analyst), I guess I might want to take a step back and try to frame last week’s events within a broader historical context, rather than getting all worked up by the manufactured mass hysteria of the moment. If I did that, things might look a bit clearer, albeit somewhat less terribly exciting.

For example, that destabilization and restructuring of the Greater Middle East I just mentioned above, which has been in progress since the early 1990s, regardless of who was sleeping in the White House. The Gulf War, the Iraq War, the “Arab Spring,” Egypt, Libya, Syria, et cetera … if I were a geopolitical analyst, I might be able to discern a pattern there, and possibly even some sort of strategy.

If I were a particularly cynical analyst, it might look to me like global capitalism, starting right around 1990, freed by the collapse of the U.S.S.R. to do whatever the hell it wanted, more or less immediately started dismantling uncooperative power structures throughout the Greater Middle East. My cynical theory would kind of make sense of the “catastrophic policy blunders” that the United States has supposedly made in Iraq, Libya, and throughout the region, not to mention the whole “Global War on Terror,” and what it is currently doing to Syria, and Iran.

Take a good look at this Smithsonian map of where the U.S.A. is “combating terrorism.” Note how the U.S. military (i.e., global capitalism’s unofficial “enforcer”) has catastrophically blundered its way into more or less every nation depicted. Or ask our “allies” in Saudi Arabia, Israel, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, Turkey, United Arab Emirates, and so on. OK, you might have to reach them in New York or London, or in the South of France this time of year, but, go ahead, ask them about the horrors they’ve been suffering on account of our “catastrophic blunders.”

See, according to this crackpot conspiracy theory that I would put forth if I were a geopolitical analyst instead of just a political satirist, there have been no “catastrophic policy blunders,” not for global capitalism. The Restructuring of the Greater Middle East is proceeding exactly according to plan. The regional ruling classes are playing ball, and those who wouldn’t have been regime-changed, or are being regime-changed, or are scheduled for regime change.

Sure, for the actual people of the region, and for regular Americans, the last thirty years of wars, “strategic” bombings, sanctions, fomented coups, and other such shenanigans have been a pointless waste of lives and money … but global capitalism doesn’t care about people or the “sovereign nations” they believe they live in, except to the extent they are useful. Global capitalism has no nations. All it has are market territories, which are either open for business or not.

Take a look at that map again. What you’re looking at is global capitalism cleaning up after winning the Cold War. And yes, I do mean global capitalism, not the United States of America (i.e., the “nation” most Americans think they live in, despite all evidence to the contrary). I know it hurts to accept the fact that “America” is nothing but a simulation projected onto an enormous marketplace … but seriously, do you honestly believe that the U.S. government and its military serve the interests of the American people? If so, go ahead, review the history of their activities since the Second World War, and explain to me how they have benefited Americans … not the corporatist ruling classes, regular working class Americans, many of whom can’t afford to see a doctor, or buy a house, or educate their kids, not without assuming a lifetime of debt to some global financial institution.

OK, so I digressed a little. The point is, “America” is not at war with Iran. Global capitalism is at war with Iran. The supranational corporatist empire. Yes, it wears an American face, and waves a big American flag, but it is no more “American” than the corporations it comprises, or the governments those corporations own, or the military forces those governments control, or the transnational banks that keep the whole show running.

This is what Iran and Syria are up against. This is what Russia is up against. Global capitalism doesn’t want to nuke them, or occupy them. It wants to privatize them, like it is privatizing the rest of the world, like it has already privatized America … according to my crackpot theory, of course.

But, again, I’m just a political satirist, not a geopolitical analyst. What the hell do I know about anything? Probably, if we just impeach Donald Trump, or The Walrus of Death, or elect Joe Biden, or Bernie Sanders, or some other individual, we can put an end to all these catastrophic blunders that America keeps making in the Middle East.

So forget about my crackpot conspiracy theories, and let’s get back to whatever terribly exciting crisis is unfolding today. Seriously, my brain kind of hurts. I can’t wait to switch on the Internet and find out who’s threatening America at the moment … Russians, Iranians, Venezuelans, anti-Semites, Mexican migrants, Nazis? The possibilities are endless.

Ready? OK, here we go.

Homo App-iens: Robot’s “Best Friend”?

Can you spare a moment?  (Me? I’ve got nothing but time, “free” time — and that’s the whole point, isn’t it?).  It’s just that I’m really excited: I’m now the first on the block to be living in a “Fully-Automated Home” (FAH)!  I’ll bet my neighbors are green with envy (though I’ve never actually seen them — they rarely come “outside”).  Just lately, most everyone has been thinking of making the final conversion, haven’t they — if they can afford it!  Sure, there are still a few “relics” around here, lumbering about with silly, “labor-saving” contraptions like leaf-blowers.  (Primitives, I’m told, even used a crude implement called a “rake”!).  Old geezers who are stuck in the past, like fossils-in-amber-reminiscing about pushing self-propelled lawn mowers, sweat dripping from their brows and all!  Can you imagine that?  Just yesterday I said, “Peona, cut the grass!” — and, presto! that was that.  Labor-saving, time-saving, allowing us to live the leisure-class lifestyle we deserve!  But you know all this.  What was it I wanted to mention…?

Oh yeah.  Remember the old days, when all this was a real novelty, exciting — remember that shivery thrill (frisson?) of empowerment?  It was a real “high” (at first): “Alexa, I feel like hearing some Muzak!”  I’d stretch out, lean back and relax, sipping my tasty “meal substitute” drink!  And most nights, if I’d been especially “good,” I’d treat myself to a deliciously munchable treat!

It was a soothing, soporific, halcyon time!  But that was just the beginning, wasn’t it, of this whole new age of domestic “restivity”!  You know, just this morning, lounging about on my lounger, I was wondering about ancient Rome — such as what “leisure services” the patrician-class might have enjoyed in those distant days.  “Biblia,” I commanded, “read something about ancient Rome — subtopic: services for the patrician-class.”  “Affluent people,” she promptly intoned, “were carried in a litter or a chair”.1  She started to read more — about banquets, the arena, chariot-racing — but I asked her to stop.  Not a bad life-style, no doubt, but, of course, primitive compared to ours!

Why, these days, if I feel like going out, I just say, “Mobilia, turn on, unlock” — and, in the-blink-of-an-eye (so to speak), off I go!  (“Not NOW, Mobilia; turn OFF; re-lock; CANCEL!”).  Sorry, I sometimes forget to de-activate, before I… oh, well, no sweat!  Now where was I?  Oh yeah, well, we’ll take a spin around Central Park — though, what with those “needle-skyscrapers” they put up years ago, it’s not much of a park anymore.  And then, well…we come back Home.  (I know, not much of an “excursion.”  But why go out anyway when I have everything I could want right here!)

Believe me, now that my FAH is up and running, I feel so liberated that I could just take a nap…right here on the sofa (…zzzz…).  What?  What’s that you said?  Sorry, I must have dozed off.  Anyway, I’m getting hungry: “Servilia, make me a bologna sandwich.”  You know, it’s almost like being a king, reclining here on my (well-padded) throne or, something.  A master-of-the-realm: I wish, I command, and then… (“NO mustard, Servilia!  How many times have I…!”).  Sorry.  Bit annoying how she sometimes does that, even though I’ve told her a thousand times… Oh, well, nothing’s perfect, and sorry for the distraction.  Where was I?

Of course, like everybody, I do get a little bored sometimes — that’s only “natural”!  Say I feel like some stimuli.  I just say, “Aphroditea!  Soft-porn — exotic setting!” (“No, not NOW, Aphroditea! De-activate, cancel!”). Sorry, again!  You can see that I haven’t, quite adjusted to the all-round, labor-saving convenience of a Fully-Automated-Home (FAH).  It takes time: you have to pay attention and exert effort, yes, and like any set of skills, practice!  Specific on-and-off commands, and also different vocalizationsm, for instance, (with deep intonation!): “Epsilonia, vacuum living room!” (“No, no — not NOW!  De-activate — Cancel!”).  What the FAH?!

Okay, okay.  I just haven’t yet mastered all the “whens-and-the-hows”!  But YOU try to deal with all these devices and commands!  You think it’s easy — try it!  Takes a lot of concentration, even alertness!  So don’t tell me that…!  Geez, what’s got into me? Sorry for “flying-off-the-handle” like that! (Is that what they used to call it?).  Guess I’ve been a little on-edge lately.  Odd, because my life these days couldn’t be better!

Anyway, you know, it’s getting late…I’m feeling a bit drowsy…time to stretch out on the sofa here.  So I’ll have to say so long, for now.  Oh yeah, almost forgot — tomorrow’s the scheduled pick-up day.  “Dronea!  Take out the garbage — now!”

  1. J. Balsdon, Life & Leisure in Ancient Rome, October 1969, p. 51.

The Hitlerization of Jeremy Corbyn (Among Others)

Every time you think the corporatocracy’s manufactured anti-Semitism hysteria cannot possibly get more absurd, they somehow manage to outdo themselves. OK, stay with me now, because this is a weird one.

Apparently, American Hitler and his cronies are conspiring with some secret group of “Jewish leaders” to stop British Hitler from becoming prime minister and wiping out all the Jews in Great Britain. Weird, right? But that’s not the weird part, because maybe American Hitler wants to wipe out all the Jews in Great Britain himself, rather than leaving it to British Hitler … Hitlers being notoriously jealous regarding their genocidal accomplishments.

No, the weird part is that everyone knows that American Hitler does not make a move without the approval of Russian Hitler, who is also obsessed with wiping out the Jews, and with destroying the fabric of Western democracy. So why would Russian Hitler want to let American Hitler and his goons thwart the ascendancy of British Hitler, who, in addition to wanting to wipe out all the Jews, also wants to destroy democracy by fascistically refunding the NHS, renationalizing the rail system, and so on?

It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it? In any event, here’s the official story.

In “a recording leaked to The Washington Post,” and then flogged by the rest of the corporate media, Reichsminister des Auswärtigen, Mike Pompeo, told a group of unnamed “Jewish leaders” that American Hitler (i.e., Donald Trump) will “push back” (i.e., intervene) against British Hitler (i.e., Jeremy Corbyn) to protect the lives of Jews in Great Britain if British Hitler becomes prime minister (and is possibly already doing so now). The identities of these “Jewish leaders” have not been disclosed by the corporate media, presumably in order to protect them from being murdered by Corbyn’s Nazi hit squad. Whoever they were, they wanted to know whether American Hitler and his fascist cabinet were “willing to work with [them] to take on actions if life becomes very difficult for Jews” after Jeremy Corbyn seizes power, declares himself Führer of Communist Britannia, and orders the immediate invasion of France.

To anyone who has been closely following the corporate media’s relentless coverage of Jeremy Corbyn’s Nazi Death Cult (i.e., the UK Labour Party) and the global Anti-Semitism Pandemic, it comes as no real surprise that this group of “Jewish leaders” (whoever they are) would want to stop him from becoming prime minister. I doubt that their motives have much to do with fighting anti-Semitism, or anything else specifically “Jewish,” but … well, I’m kind of old-fashioned that way. I still believe there’s a fundamental difference between “the Jews” and the global capitalist ruling classes.

I realize that both the neoliberal establishment and the neo-fascist fringe disagree with me, and that both are determined (for different reasons) to conflate the two in the public’s mind, but that’s my take, and I’m sticking to it. I don’t think the world is controlled by “the Jews.” I think it’s controlled by global capitalism.

Go ahead, call me a conspiracy theorist. Here’s how the anti-Semitism panic in the United Kingdom looks to me.

After nearly 40 years of privatization and restructuring, British society is on the brink of being permanently transformed into the type of savage, neo-feudal, corporatist nightmare that the USA already is. The global capitalist ruling classes are extremely pleased about this state of affairs. They would now like to finish up privatizing Britain, so they can get on with privatizing the rest of Europe. The last thing they need at this critical juncture is Jeremy Corbyn to become prime minister and start attempting to remake their nascent neoliberal marketplace into a society … you know, where healthcare is guaranteed to all, you don’t need a mortgage to buy a train ticket, and people don’t have to eat out of trash bins.

Unlike in the USA, where there is no functional political Left, and where the non-parliamentary “two-party system” is almost totally controlled by the corporatocracy, in the UK, there are still a few old-fashioned socialists, and they have taken back the Labour Party from the neoliberal Blairite stooges that had been managing the transformation of Britain into the aforementioned neo-feudal nightmare. Jeremy Corbyn is the leader of these socialists. So the corporatocracy needs to destroy him, take back control of the Labour Party, and turn it back into a fake left party, like the Democratic Party in the USA, so they can concentrate on crushing the right-wing populists. Thus, they need to Hitlerize Corbyn, so they can fold him into their official narrative, Democracy vs. The Putin-Nazis.

And, see, this is what makes the corporatocracy’s War on Populism so seemingly psychotic … at least to anyone paying attention.

In the USA, the populist insurgency is primarily a right-wing phenomenon (because, again, there is no Left to speak of). Thus, the neoliberal ruling classes are focused on Hitlerizing Donald Trump, and stigmatizing the millions of Americans who voted for him as a bunch of Nazis. Hitlerizing Trump has been ridiculously easy (he almost Hitlerizes himself), but the ultimate goal is to delegitimize the populist sentiment that put him into office. That sentiment is primarily neo-nationalist. So it’s a one-front counter-insurgency op (i.e., neoliberalism versus neo-nationalism).

In the UK, things are not that simple. There, the neoliberal ruling classes are waging a counter-insurgency op against populist forces on two major fronts: (1) the Brexiters (i.e., nationalism); and (2) the Corbynists (i.e., socialism). They’re getting hit from both the left and right, which is screwing up the official narrative (according to which the “enemies of democracy” are supposed to be right-wing neo-nationalists). So, as contradictory and absurd as it sounds, they needed to conflate both left and right populism into one big scary Hitlerian enemy. Thus, they needed to Hitlerize Corbyn. Presto … Labour Anti-Semitism crisis!

Now, anyone who is isn’t a gibbering idiot knows that Jeremy Corbyn is not an anti-Semite and the Labour Party is not a hive of Nazis. It’s a testament to the power of the corporate media that such a statement even needs to be made … but, of course, that’s the point of the smear campaign the neoliberal corporate media have been waging for the last three years.

Smear campaigns are simple and effective. The goal is to force your target and his allies into proclaiming things like, “I am not an anti-Semite,” or “I’ve never had sex with underage boys,” or whatever smear you want to force them to deny. You don’t have to prove your target guilty. You’re just trying to conjure up a “reality” in which every time someone thinks of your target they associate him with the content of your smears.

The corporate media have done just that, to Jeremy Corbyn, to Donald Trump, to Putin, and to assorted lesser figures. They did it to Sanders in 2016. They are doing it now to Tulsi Gabbard. The goal is not only to smear these targets, but also, and more so, to conjure a “world” that reifies the narrative of their smears … a binary “good versus evil” world, a world in which whatever they want to accuse their targets of being linked to (e.g., terrorism, fascism, racism, or whatever) is the official enemy of all that is good.

Since the Brexit referendum and the election of Trump, the ruling classes have conjured up a world where “democracy” is perpetually under attack by a global conspiracy of “Russians” and “Nazis” (just as they previously conjured up a world where it was perpetually under attack by “terrorists”). They have conjured up a post-Orwellian reality in which “democracy” (i.e., global capitalism) is the only alternative to “neo-fascism” (i.e., anything opposed to global capitalism).

And this is why Corbyn had to be Hitlerized, and why Putin, Trump, Assad, Gabbard, Assange, the “Yellow Vest” protesters in France, and anyone else opposing global neoliberalism has to be Hitlerized. Socialism, nationalism … it makes no difference, not to the global capitalist ruling classes. There are always only two sides in these “worlds” that the ruling classes conjure up for us, and there can be only one official enemy. The official enemy of the moment is “fascism.” Therefore, all the “bad guys” are Hitler, or Nazis, or racists, or anti-Semites, or some other variation of Hitler.

The fact that this “reality” they have conjured up for us is completely psychotic makes it no less real. And it is only going to get more insane until the corporatocracy restores “normality.” So, go ahead, if you consider yourself “normal,” and try to force your mind to believe that Jews are no longer safe in Great Britain, or in Germany, or France, or the USA, and that Donald Trump is a Russian asset, and is also literally Adolf Hitler, and an anti-Semitic white supremacist who is conspiring with Israel and Saudi Arabia in their campaign to destroy Iran and Syria, which are allies of his Russian masters, as is Venezuela, which he is also menacing, and that Jeremy Corbyn’s secret plan is to turn the UK into Nazi Germany, with the support of Trump, who is trying to destroy him, and that the Yellow Vests are Russian-backed fascists, and that Julian Assange is a rapist spy who conspired with Russia to get Trump elected, which is why Trump wants to prosecute him, just as soon as he finishes wiping out the Jews, or protecting them from Jeremy Corbyn, or from Iran, or brainwashing Black Americans into reelecting him in 2020 with a handful of Russian Facebook ads.

Go ahead, try to reconcile all that … or whatever, don’t. Just take whatever medication you happen to be on, crank up CNN, MSNBC, or any other corporate media channel, and report me to the Internet Police for posting dangerous “extremist” content. You know, in your heart, I probably deserve it.

“Luddite” Humanist?

I’ll admit it: I haven’t kept up with all this “new-ness” that just seems to have come out of nowhere!  Give you a quick example.  Seems there’s a “Cloud” out there somewhere, a sort-of-menacing Cloud but one you can never see, not even on the edge of the horizon.  And get this. It’s a cloud-to-beat-all-clouds, filled with “Information,” they say — maybe all the Information in the World!  Instead of good old H-2-0!  I don’t know if I can give much credence to such talk — sounds plain nuts to me! — but that’s what a lot of folks have been saying.  Can you beat that?  I didn’t know that.

But there’s more: the word on the grapevine is that all-of-a-sudden people have gotten super-friendly. Seems they’re making new “friends” left and right, by the dozen or even a hundred!  But it’s on their computer, see.  Can you beat that?  So they connect up, they’re “in touch,” with this whole carload of new friends, but they never laugh together or sing-a-long or, get this, even touch one another!  But I suppose these young folks have invented all new kinds of ways of getting acquainted.  I didn’t know that.

For instance, another rumor — even stranger if you ask me! — is that these strangers, I mean, friends, can even fall-for-each-other and start carrying on a secret liaison but all on a computer!  Doesn’t sound so alluring, does it? No hugs and “intimacies” but plenty of “texting” and all!  But maybe they do come down to Earth, eventually, and actually meet “in the flesh” — if their heads-are not-still in-the-Clouds!  (My little joke, get it?)  Me, I’m kind of “demonstrative,” affectionate, even if it’s just a pat-on-the-back.  But lately I see folks — seems like everybody in the town has gone mad! — jabbering away, day and night, on their “smartphones.”   Checking and checking things — in between their talktalktalk!  (But look at me, I should talk — talking you into an early grave!)

But I guess what perplexes me the most is that people have latched on to the idea that being an ordinary human being just doesn’t cut it anymore!  People are restless, dissatisfied, tinkering around — not content with what Nature gave them.  They’ve gotta have a new nose or maybe a more “buxom” look, or something, or maybe no wrinkles at age 70!  Then there’s all this talk of “Intelligence”–how artificial is better than the brains we’ve been born with — and how, wouldn’t it be great (“awesome”?) to “upload” their whole brains into a computer!  Or something.  That, to me, just doesn’t “compute” (get it?).  Then some nutcase got the bright idea that everybody should get a microchip implanted — you heard me — implanted in their brains [NY Times, 6/10/19]!  I wouldn’t even put one in my poor cocker-spaniel — offense to his dignity!

Well, I guess you can see that I just haven’t kept up with all the “latest.”  And I’m sure these folks know best, and have found new-and-better ways to enjoy being a human being!  Me, if I stay inside for more than a few hours, I feel pretty low so don’t expect to find me sitting staring at a computer all day any time soon!  It’s just that the beauties of life, and life itself, are very fleeting.  For instance, as I sat out back early the other morning, the dew still glistening as the sun poked through the mist, a baby deer took its first, awkward steps.  Mighty precious to see that, all that delicacy and innocence rising up in confidence to view the world for the first time.  But the best thing is the birds.  They swoop down to my feeders, reckless and unafraid, dressed in their bright plumage–and then just as quickly soar aloft, and with a kind of “nonchalant” poise (I can get a bit poetic!).  It’s just that — it’s hard to explain — they’re absolutely ”free,” carefree, you know — “free as a bird”!

But I’m sure, when all is said and done, that all these people everywhere, billions of human beings, can’t be wrong–how could they? — and that this overwhelming avalanche of computers and screens and gadgets invading the world will, in the end, make our lives more gracious, kindly, and dignified.  It’s just that I didn’t know that.

Death of an American Consumer

I’ve been giving a lot of thought lately about making, you know, my “final arrangements.”  Sure, sure, I’m in great shape for my age, and it’s not healthy to dwell on it — but you just never know!  Heart attack, brain spasm — whatever.  And my motto has always been — “be prepared!”

It was just some junk-mail, some insurance company offering funeral insurance — “the ultimate peace-of-mind” — that really got me thinking about it.  The brochure had a picture of a couple just smiling their heads off — I guess they were really looking forward to a worry-free passing!  Anyway, I really hadn’t given this the thought I should have — quite unusual for me, since, like I say, I normally plan everything ahead of time.  To avoid those “unpleasant surprises,” you know.  But in this case, I’ve really been remiss.  I certainly don’t want my kids to end up having to foot the bill.  These things can run to even $10,000 — or more!

But I’m talking your ear off.  Let’s see. Let’s google “funeral insurance,” and see what pops up.  “Funeral insurance: rates as low as $13/month.”  Pretty cheap — that’s gotta be for the 85-and-over crowd!  Wait, here’s a consumer guide: “The 8 Best Burial Insurance Options for 2019!”  That sounds comprehensive, but…oh, here’s what I was looking for: “Smart Ways to Cover Your Funeral — AARP!”  Sure, I’ll make a note of that.

Now, what kind of a funeral do I want? — not that I’d grouse if it wasn’t so great, haha.  But, you know, like most folks, I can’t make up my mind: cremation or casket?  And that also reminds me — how the heck does a “casket” differ from a coffin?  “Usually constructed of better quality timbers, and features higher standards of workmanship.”  Hmm…good to know, what with the issues of seepage and rot and all.  But I’m still not sure…

“Coffin sale at Wal-mart!  25% off already discounted prices.  As low as $999 (real wood)!”  Not bad, not bad.  What about Costco? They buy wholesale, you know.  But what’s this?  ”Consumers who think they’re getting a good deal buying a casket at Amazon or Costco may end up paying more than they think in the end!” (Marketwatch, 6/25/17).  I don’t know…that doesn’t sound so good after all.

Besides, if I go cheap, what will everyone think during the viewing?  “Usually better timbers”. I don’t like that “usually”!  If I’m gonna shell out a few thousand bucks, I’d better be getting hi-quality, top-of-the-line merchandise, right?  And I don’t want to go too cheap. I already have the rep of being a tightwad (unfair, of course).  But, now that I think of it, the “viewing” would be a pain-in-the-ass!  Who wants to get “embalmed” and then have to lie on a, what, “velveteen pillow with a sateen envelope”?  Forget it.

Let’s consider the alternative.  (By the way, sorry to be going-on like this.  It’s just that it’s a really important decision, and your being here and listening and all, well, it helps me–to think.)  So…let’s google “cremation,” and see what pops up!  “People ask: can I just get cremated without a service?”  Good question — that’s a no-nonsense person for you!  “Answer: Yes–direct cremation is the most affordable option for your disposition.”  “Disposition” — I like that.  Every profession has its trade-lingo, I guess.  Here’s a funny question: “Do I have to have clothes on when I’m cremated?  Answer: No (pajamas or a sheet OK).”  Makes sense.  Now, look at this.  Why in the world are people asking about caskets again?  It says right here that you–I mean, your body–only has to be placed in a rigid container of some kind, ”even a cardboard box”!  Not really, come on–I have to draw the line at that!

But wait a minute, I have to appreciate that a lot of people just can’t afford anything fancier, it’s not their fault!  And that brings me back, I guess, to the funeral insurance — sure, sure, might as well not procrastinate.  You know, ”better be safe — than sorry”!

The Quds Day Panic of 2019

So it appears we managed to survive another terrifying Quds Day in Berlin. It was certainly touch and go there for a while, what with the media issuing hysterical warnings about the hordes of “Hamas and Hezbollah supporters, neo-Nazis, and conspiracy theorists” that were going to materialize out of the ether, goose-step down the Kurfürstendamm, and reenact Kristallnacht, or something. The city was braced for an all-out Perso-Palestinian Quds Day Pogrom, which is always a threat on Quds Day in Berlin, but the hysteria level this year was elevated, due to the Anti-Semitism Pandemic that mysteriously erupted in 2016 for no apparent reason whatsoever.

OK, what, you’re probably asking, is Quds Day? It’s an annual event initiated by Iran to show support for the Palestinians and opposition to Zionism. It takes place on the last Friday of Ramadan, in opposition to Israel’s Jerusalem Day, the national holiday commemorating Israel’s annexation of East Jerusalem in the aftermath of the Six-Day War. In Berlin, there’s an annual Quds Day march, which the German media typically respond to by whipping up anti-Semitism hysteria and fanatical, guilt-ridden support for Israel. This year was no exception … on the contrary.

A week or so before the event, Felix Klein, Germany’s “Commissioner for Jewish Life and the Fight Against Anti-Semitism,” warned Jews not to wear kippahs in public, on account of the unprecedented explosion of anti-Semitism throughout the country. According to the interior ministry, there were 62 violent anti-Semitic attacks in Germany during 2018, compared to 37 in 2017, which, in a nation of 83 million people, and with a history of real-life, goose-stepping Nazis, and of perpetrating the Holocaust, and so on … well, you can understand the Commissioner’s alarm.

The international corporate media began spreading the news that Anti-Semitism was once again on the march in Germany. The BBC reported that official figures showed that 1,646 hate crimes had been committed against Jews in 2018, up 10% from 2017! CNN reported that anti-Semitic hate crimes had increased by almost 20%! According to The Jerusalem Post, there were 1,800 anti-Semitic incidents committed against Jews in 2018! It was almost as if the Anti-Semitism Pandemic was retroactively metastasizing right before our eyes.

But whatever. The statistics don’t really matter. The point was, “Jews are not safe in Germany!” The Putin-Nazis had teamed up with the Iranian Nazis and the Syrian Nazis, who were backing the Palestinian Nazis, whose irrational hatred of the State of Israel the German Nazis had somehow weaponized (probably with a bunch of fake Facebook ads), and they were all going to storm the historic high-end shopping boulevard of West Berlin!

Then, on Friday, the day before Quds Day, in a desperate, last-minute, tactical manouver, German politicians and cultural figures exhorted Jews and gentiles alike to defiantly wear their kippahs on Quds Day. BILD, the leading German tabloid, even printed little cut-out “BILD kippas” (complete with meticulous assembly instructions), and called on Germans to wear them on Quds Day to show their solidarity with State of Israel … uh, sorry, I meant with the Jewish people.

The BILD kippa tactic was a huge success! On Quds Day, fewer than a thousand people, many of them women and children, peacefully strolled along the Kurfürstendamm chanting slogans like “free, free Palestine,” and asking the world to stop the Israelis from penning people up in de facto ghettos, shooting their legs off with dum dum bullets, demolishing their houses, hospitals, and schools, stealing their land, randomly murdering them, and otherwise behaving like sadistic fascists. The hordes of “Hamas and Hezbollah supporters, neo-Nazis, and conspiracy theorists” that the corporate media had warned us were coming, oddly, never showed their faces … clearly, the “BILD kippas” scared them off.

Or maybe it was the counter-demonstrators. Hundreds of anti-anti-Semites, including prominent German government officials, Israeli diplomats, Antifa factions, members of the local Jewish community, and BILD susbscribers confronted the march, wearing kippahs, waving Israeli flags, displaying giant “MAGA” banners, shouting “long live Israel” and “free Gaza from Hamas,” and giving the marchers the finger, and so on (which, OK, I found a little confusing, as, the last time I checked, Trump was still Hitler, and Antifa were supposedly a bunch of anarchists).

In any event, the hysteria has subsided. Berlin and Israel appear to have survived. The Jews can come back out of hiding, although it isn’t quite clear whether Germany wants them to wear their kippahs in public or not now. Hopefully, we’ll be receiving some sort of official directive from Commissioner Klein (or possibly Axel Springer) about that.

But, seriously, you can’t really blame the Germans for a going a little overboard with their anti-anti-Semitism hysteria or for being reluctant to criticize Israel. It wasn’t all that long ago that their parents and grandparents were heiling Hitler and systematically murdering millions of Jews, or looking the other way while it happened. Most of the Germans I’m acquainted with still feel kind of awful about that. Which isn’t terribly surprising, is it?

I mean, imagine, if you’re one of my American readers, if some other country conquered the USA, and put our political and military leaders on trial for all the war crimes they’ve committed, and for the millions of people they’ve systematically murdered, and taught our children the truth about our history … that might give you some idea of how most Germans feel about the Nazis and the Holocaust.

So, yes, Germans are a bit hypersensitive about anything resembling anti-Semitism, and they tend to conflate opposition to Israel with hatred of the Jewish people (despite the fact that Israel is doing a pretty convincing impression of the Nazis, what with its ethnic cleansing, walls, ghettos, sadistic goons, propaganda, and so on). Many Germans also overcompensate for their feelings of shame about the Holocaust by displaying an awkward fascination and enthusiasm for anything “Jewish” (you know, like many liberal Americans fetishize Native and African Americans), so that might explain the “BILD kippa” nonsense.

No, I’m not mocking or scolding the Germans … they’re still trying to work their history out. I’m just trying to track the propaganda and cynical emotional manipulation that we are increasingly being subjected to as the global capitalist ruling classes wage their War on Populism. The Quds Day Panic of 2019 is just one example. There are many more, both manufactured and all-too-real. The Charlottesville Nazis. Charlottesville II. The MAGA bomber. The Tree of Life shooting. The Christchurch attack. Jussie Smollett. MAGA hat Smirk Boy. And the list goes on … pretty much as it always has.

I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to anyone, but the world has always contained a minority of racist and anti-Semitic whack jobs. They didn’t suddenly start murdering people when Brexit passed and Trump got elected. They’ve been doing that for quite some time. And, of course, there is still anti-Semitism in Germany. Saxony is crawling with neo-Nazis. And Iran really would like to wipe out Israel, just as Israel would like to wipe out Iran. None of this is in any way new or shocking to anyone who has been paying attention.

The only thing that has significantly changed since November 8, 2016, is the official narrative we are being fed, in which anyone opposing global capitalism and the hegemony of neoliberal ideology is either a Russian or some kind of Nazi, and a new “anti-Semitism” or “fascism” panic is whipped up for us on a monthly basis.

The Quds Day Panic of 2019 (like the Charlottesville Kristallnacht of 2017) is going to be rerun, over and over, in endless variations, until 2020, or whenever the global capitalist ruling classes manage to restore Normality. By that time Israeli sports teams will probably be wearing little Palestinians on their caps, Julian Assange will be locked away in Supermax, and satirists like me … well, I think you know.

Blood-Rite in the Cult of Mammon?

Four years ago, according to the New York Times (5/29/19), 34-year-old Thomas Gilbert Jr. stormed into his father’s room–and shot him dead.  Calling 911, his mother quickly identified him as the shooter and described him as ”nuts–but I had no idea he was this nuts.”  The victim, a prominent hedge-fund manager on Wall-Street, had been threatening to cut Junior’s $1000 weekly allowance–a tactic, she  explained, to try to force young “Tommy” to enter a psychiatric hospital.

As the case has now gone to trial, the assistant D.A., admitting that the defendant has been treated for “mental illnesses” like anxiety and depression, nonetheless reminded jurors that a lot of New Yorkers have also.  The defense attorney, by contrast, insisted that Junior has had a lengthy “history of mental illness.”  Notwithstanding (or rather, because of?) his privileged “upbringing,” it turns out that Junior had been very troubled indeed–convinced, according to his attorney, that “someone was trying to steal his soul” (italics mine).

Disturbed or not, Junior, we may surmise, was a disappointment: so much had been invested, including a Princeton education, for so little return!  Not only did he fail to change his profligate ways, but he could not–busy away surfing as he so frequently was–be displayed as a conspicuous trophy of Senior’s high-profile status in Wall Street circles.

Raised on the altar of the delusional cult of Mammon–where a dollar-”value” is imposed on human beings just as on commodities–Junior no doubt was not exhibiting the prestigious conduct expected of such an expensively paid-for asset.  But, indeed, how “sane” can one be if one’s intrinsic, human value is ignored–as if one didn’t exist, apart from maintaining one’s “position” in an elite-stratification based entirely on sky-high “income” and amassing limitless wealth?  And if mega-million-dollar acquisitions are celebrated–whether from fraud or insider-trading–so long as one can (as Wall-Streeters notoriously do) skirt the law, then how far beyond “acceptable norms” is actually committing murder (as Junior is now being tried for)?  (Not far at all–if we recall the mega-millions made by investors in Lockheed, Boeing, Raytheon, and Halliburton, ad nauseam.)

Finally, as radical thinkers such as Foucault and Szasz have persuasively argued, the very labels distinguishing sanity from madness become hopelessly confounded — when the consensually-shared ideology dominating a socio-cultural system is in itself delusional.